The fears of a soon-to-be college graduate

I cannot tell you how nervous the thought of graduating college in just over a month makes me. I haven't found a job. I don't know where I'll be living. It's a crazy time, and thinking about it takes up a lot of my time.

I wish the idea of graduation day was happy, like in the movies and on TV. I would really like to say that everyone will be super happy and throw their caps into the air at the end of the ceremony. And maybe some people will. But I just keep thinking about what happens after that.

I have been sending out resumes, writing samples and cover letters like a mad woman. And so far, it hasn't done me much good. Thinking about not finding a job makes me extremely nervous. I don't want to end up like one of those movie bums who lives on his or her parents' couch until they're thirty. That's not my style. Another fear, similar to that, is that I will end up working in retail or as a waitress. I didn't go to college for four years to end up waiting tables.

If that does happen, or if it looks like it will happen I do have one last idea. Maybe it's a little bit crazy. And this also sounds like something out of a movie or TV show. In fact, it's a fairly common scenario. It goes something like this: Small town girl moves to the big city to make something of life. I could absolutely pick up my life and move somewhere, probably New York or Washington, D.C. (as of right now, it's not like I have anything else to do). There I would search for the perfect job (which will involve writing) and find a sweet apartment (or a broom closet, if need be) to live in with a roommate or two. While I'm looking for that great job I can work at a restaurant or in a store (as long as I'm not living at home and working at one of those places, I'm good). I could also take out loans to help afford my apartment.

Can you tell that I think about this a lot?