Tomorrow is my last day of classes ever (unless I decide to continue my studies at some point in my life). It's weird. You go to classes every day for seventeen years and finally it's over. That's it. There are finals, sure. But I don't have finals.

With graduation less than two weeks I'm still freaking out. I still don't have a job. And I'm super sad that I have to leave UMass Dartmouth and the friends I've made over the last four years.

I feel like I'm in the final, flashback episode of a TV show that's going off the air. I can't help but think about all the good times, the bad times and the inbetween times. I've learned so many things and changed so much, as have my friends and the other people who I have interacted with over the last four years. I feel like we're the beloved characters on some show that has gone its course, but you still want more.

I reminiss back to moving in my freshman year. I had the roommate that everyone fears they'll get, the one who parties all the time and has a live-in boyfriend. Then, when she breaks up with that boyfriend, has random ya-dudes over all the time.

Then I think about my experiences with my friends and all the adventures we've had over the years. For the good things I think about the movie nights, beach trips, parties, my semester in Washington D.C. and working at The Torch.

For the bad times I think about my slutty roommate, my hermit roommate, all the stressful days and nights and working at The Torch.

I think finishing with The Torch has been the most difficult part. It's one of the few things that's been in my life since I started school here, when I was a freshman. I can't believe that I'll never see my name on the front page again.

In my mind there is this huge montage of these moments going through my mind to all kinds of cheezy going away songs. I feel like there's a new one every day. Some of them aren't even going away songs, they're just catchy tunes that get easily stuck in my head. I can't make them go away.

I know that in two short weeks I won't be a student any more. This show is almost over. Hopefully there's some chance for a successful (or at least entertaining) spin-off.

The fears of a soon-to-be college graduate

I cannot tell you how nervous the thought of graduating college in just over a month makes me. I haven't found a job. I don't know where I'll be living. It's a crazy time, and thinking about it takes up a lot of my time.

I wish the idea of graduation day was happy, like in the movies and on TV. I would really like to say that everyone will be super happy and throw their caps into the air at the end of the ceremony. And maybe some people will. But I just keep thinking about what happens after that.

I have been sending out resumes, writing samples and cover letters like a mad woman. And so far, it hasn't done me much good. Thinking about not finding a job makes me extremely nervous. I don't want to end up like one of those movie bums who lives on his or her parents' couch until they're thirty. That's not my style. Another fear, similar to that, is that I will end up working in retail or as a waitress. I didn't go to college for four years to end up waiting tables.

If that does happen, or if it looks like it will happen I do have one last idea. Maybe it's a little bit crazy. And this also sounds like something out of a movie or TV show. In fact, it's a fairly common scenario. It goes something like this: Small town girl moves to the big city to make something of life. I could absolutely pick up my life and move somewhere, probably New York or Washington, D.C. (as of right now, it's not like I have anything else to do). There I would search for the perfect job (which will involve writing) and find a sweet apartment (or a broom closet, if need be) to live in with a roommate or two. While I'm looking for that great job I can work at a restaurant or in a store (as long as I'm not living at home and working at one of those places, I'm good). I could also take out loans to help afford my apartment.

Can you tell that I think about this a lot?

My Addiction

Somewhat recently I discovered a new way to procrastinate--the "Missed Connections" page on Craigslist.org. When I get tired of homework, Torch work or job hunting I simply go to Craigslist and click on the Missed Connections link.

A lot of people use Craigslist to serch for jobs, housing, used furniture and other things like that. I admit, a lot of the time I use it for those things, too. But lately I've been using it more for laughs on the Missed Connections page, where people leave messages for others who they found attractive when they saw them, but for one reason or another did not speak to or meet. Or they leave messages for people who they did meet, but they did not exchange contact information.

They hope that these individuals who they write about will see what has been written to them. But I highly doubt that most of them ever do. I don't know why people write these posts. But I'm glad they do. On a good day Missed Connections can provide hours of entertainment.

Many of the posts on this site are similar, saying things like, "I saw you at Starbucks on [whatever street] last Saturday morning and thought you were cute," or "You were the hot waiter/waitress at [whatever restaurant] on Sunday night. We exchanged glances. I really liked you and I think you liked me too. Tell me what I was wearing."

But every now and again you run across a gem. Over the weekend I was looking at jobs in Washington, D.C., when I found a delicious little treasure on Missed Connections. It read: "You were the pretty girl walking east on M Street. When I said 'nice purse' you maced me. I guess I should have just said "good evening" or something along those lines. Either way now I can never say I've never been maced before. Thank you." Who the hell thanks someone for macing them? People are crazy. I hate it. But I love it. I really don't know how I feel about it. But I am definitely addicted to Missed Connections on Craigslist.

Tonight

Tonight is the night I have been waiting for since probably late November or early December. New episodes of The Office and 30 Rock are back on TV!!!!

I'm hoping that since the writers had such a long "break" that they had time to come up with new hilarious ideas for these two shows. After being deprived for so long I don't know if I can handle mediocracy. I want hilarious, pee-your-pants, stitches-in-your-side-popping comedy from both shows. No, I don't want it, I need it.

When my roommates, friends and I sit down to watch 30 Rock at 8:30 tonight we want to be astonished with the show, staring Tina Fey, Tracey Morgan and Alec Baldwin. We hope to laugh out loud at the ridiculous things that characters say and do while they make fun of SNL in this time slot.

We also hope that The Office doesn't disappoint. My roommate Joanie is so excited. As am I, but she is the most excited about this mocumentary of office life. Although, if you ask me, having worked in an office environment, it's not that far off. Ridiculous things happen in real life offices as well. Although, most bosses aren't as crazy as Dunder Mifflin branch manager Michael Scott (Steve Carrell).

Last night, when I was done with my homework, I decided to watch TV with two of my roommates and one other friend of mine. What was on? Flavor of Love 3. Why, why, why? Did I get up and leave, return to my cave? No, I wanted some human interaction so I stayed and I watched that awful, awful show.

The episode I watched (I don't keep up with the show, so I have no clue how old it was) featured Flavor Flav's "Flavorettes" putting on a play about his past and his future. They did not just speak in the show they put on, but they rapped. It was painful. Oh, God it hurt.

At one point in the show, Flav asked the "new girls" who he invited into the house to pick out one girl to save from elimination at the end of the show. They ended up picking a girl named Thing 2. Thing 2 was there with her twin sister, Thing 1. Before they had been considered as if they were one person. After making a mistake when marking the Twins's clock, to separate them, Flav makes a mistake, he crosses out the wrong twin. So he gives her his clock, which he claims he has never done for anyone.

After this one of my roommates asked, "Does this mean we can wait until Flavor of Love 4 to see this again?"

I responded, "Does there need to be a Flavor of Love 4?"

She retorted, "Did there need to be a Flavor of Love 1?"

Ugh, I hate reality TV!!!!

When most people think spring break they think of sun, warmth and the beach. They think of tropical places, bathing suits and drinks with little umbrellas. I spent my spring break in Montreal. It was cold. I found myself bundling up and wishing I was in Massachusetts where it was warm(er).

But my friends and I decided to go to Montreal anyway. It was it was frigid outside. But I figured, since I've never done anything exciting for spring break (freshman year I stayed home and did nothing, sophomore year I had my wisdom teeth out and junior year I was doing an internship in Washington D.C. and I did not get a spring break), I would leap at the chance. What I thought would be a wild week of partying and clubbing turned out to be something much more

Most nights my friends and I opted out of going to bars and clubs because A - we didn't want to go out in the cold and B - some of the cover charges were high ($75 high). We discovered the latter online. Some of the clubs did not list charges and we did not want to walk 45 minutes in the cold to find out that we could not afford to pay.

We probably saved a lot of money that way. By staying in and drinking our own alcohol and juice mixes we managed to bond, enjoy each other's company, tell ridiculous jokes, and play drinking games including Kings and Never, ever have I...

We still did spend a lot of money on food and shopping, but by staying in most of the nights we saved a lot of money. The nights we did go out, we spent a lot. One night I ended up spending way more than I would have paid in the U.S.

So, if you do want to go away on spring break, even if you don't have a lot of money, you can save a lot by bringing your own fun. All you really need are good friends, a sense of humor and enough money to make sure you don't die from starvation.

A hedgehog just beat up a dinosaur? I must be dreaming. In what universe could this happen? Well, I'll tell you how this strange event can occur. It's Super Smash Brothers Brawl and the hedgehog is Sonic and the dinosaur is Bowser.

About two days ago my life was taken over by this new video game. I didn't ask for it to take over my world. But I guess because my apartment houses a functioning Wii and the newest, fanciest, widescreen, High-Definition TV I don't really have a choice.

While my roommates, friends and some people who I don't even really know battle it out in my living room, I'm busy fighting my immune system. While they stay up until 5 a.m. playing, I lay in my bed thinking, "I wish I could breathe through my nose." While my friends duke it out to open as many new characters as they can, I guzzle orange juice so I can be healthy for my spring break trip to Montreal.

But the thing that irks me the most is this: Why have my friends forsaken sleep for a video game? It'll still be there in the morning. More importantly, why do they need to disrupt my sleep? I'm sick. I'm tired. And IT'S MY APARTMENT!!!!!!! I just want to be healthy and well rested. But for the past few days that has not happened all because of this obsession.

I will admit that the game is fun, and some of the levels are pretty to look at on that new TV. But still, what's the big deal? I did grow up with some video games. But I never played as much in a day as some of my friends do now. I am bewildered. And I just don't get the need to purchase the game at midnight when it comes out, be back on campus playing it by 12:15 and then staying up playing until 5 a.m. AHHHHH!

Sometimes people say that SOME stress is a good thing. And, I'm sure that sometimes they're right. The other day I learned sometimes stress can be a bad thing. Well, I already knew this. But I had never made myself sick from stress before this.

Right now, I feel like a lot of the time all I do is worry about what's to come. I worry about my school work, I worry about my activities and I worry about the future. I'm graduating in less than three months and I'm freaking out about it. Where will I work? Where will I live? Will I make enough money?

Am I going crazy? Sometimes I think so. I have finally managed, after 22 years of stressing over everything, to make myself ill from stress.

How can I and others like me deal better with stress? I'm not entirely sure. I suppose not procrastinating would be a good step. Maybe eating and sleeping on a more regular schedule would help, too. Perhaps I should tell myself that other people are going through the same thing. Maybe take a break from working every now and then. It is important to relax a little sometimes. I haven't been doing that.

I know, if I keep going like I am now, I will run myself into a wall. Heck, maybe I already have.

For the last week, I have kept telling myself that I need a vacation. While I thought I was half kidding at the time, I realized that I haven't gone home once this semester. Until Tuesday, I don't think I'd missed a single class. I really do need a break. Thank God spring break is only a week away. I think Montreal will do me some good.

You know what's really been annoying me lately? One of my roommates. Her friends in particular. One of them comes over to our apartment all the time (I won't use her real name, because I'm betting that someone here knows her). We'll just refer to her by the first letter of her name, M.

M comes over and uses our bathroom and then fails to turn off the light. I think that it is common curtesy to turn off a light when you leave a room. It save energy. It helps the environment. It keeps people like me from getting very annoyed with you. It also annoys me because I'm probably a little bit OCD.

Now, this wouldn't annoy me so much if it didn't happen quite so often. But it happens every single time she uses the bathroom. EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!! Now, energy conservation is something that I care about. I would say something to this girl, but she is way too spacey to remember. I've come very close to telling my roommate, "Tell M that if she doesn't start turning off the light when she's done in the bathroom that she isn't allowed to pee over here any more. She can use the bathroom in her own apartment." But I'm too nice.

How else can I solve this problem? I can leave little notes around, I suppose. But people don't usually like that.

The Oscars

The Oscars weren't terribly exciting this year. But my roommates and I watched anyway. We laughed at Jon Stewart and made fun of quite a few outfits.

Some of the montages got to be a little much. Especially when they decided to show clips from all 79 of the previous movies that won the "best picture" awards. They also decided to show montages of many (thankfully not all) of the actors and actresses who won the "Best Actor," "Best Actress," "Best Supporting Actor," "Best Supporting Actress" and a bunch of others.

It got extrememly tedious when they decided to show the best binocular scenes from movies. Ugh. Oh, writers' strike, why couldn't you have ended sooner?

I did really enjoy all of the musical performances, though. I really enjoyed the songs from "Enchanted." That movie was adorable and I love the music.

There were some pretty dresses, and then there were some not so pretty dresses. Some of them made me think, "AHHHHH, what were you thinking when you picked out that hideous, hideous piece of cloth to wear to the Oscars?????" Ugh!

After watching the Oscars this year, I can only hope that next year will be better...

TV and voting

As I wrote a paper last night I was half paying attention to the Project Runway reunion special. Project Runway is one of the few unscripted television shows that I can stand to watch. I enjoy seeing what the contestants come up with each week. Will they do well? Will their designs fall apart?

This seems more original than most of the TV shows that were on during the writers' strike. This show has been around for a while now, I know. But every season people on the show create new designs and I can't help but hope that some of the contestants succeed on the show and after it is over. The people on this show are actually talented. They don't have to be pretty or fake (they can be, but it's not a must) Unlike on most reality TV shows, some of the people on this show are even likeable. Although I was a bit disappointed when Christian took the Fan-Favorite over Chris who my friends and I like the best. But whatever. I guess not everyone votes (I didn't and neither did my friends). And if you don't vote, then your voice will never be heard.

I don't blame people for not voting in the Fan Favorite contest for Project Runway. But I do think that all Americans who are of age should vote in this November's presidential election. I know I will. And I hope you do, too. The more people who vote, the more likely it is that we will have a president who represents a large population of our country (although, with the Electoral College you never know).

So, I encourage you to go out and vote in the November presidential election. If you don't you will have no say in who becomes our next president.

I don't watch much television...

I don't feel like I watch as much TV as I used to. Because of the writers' strike there doesn't seem to be anything good on anymore. It's mostly trashy, tedious reality TV. A lot of it is exactly the same as the rest. And I can only handle so much of that.

I want all of the TV shows that I watched last fall to come back. Right now, all I really have to look forward to is "LOST" on Thursday nights. It drives me kind of crazy the way they never answer any questions, but I still watch. I watch because, despite my frustration with the show, I still enjoy it. I get excited, because it is one of the few shows left that requires writing.

I wish I could say the same thing about reality TV. No, actually I don't. I can't get excited about the next episode of Rock of Love 2. That show is awful. I can't sit through an entire episode without wanting to gauge my eyes out with a fork. It's that painful. I don't care who Brett Michaels chooses in the end.

Recently, my friends and I have been watching TV shows on DVD to battle our cravings for decent television. But I've seen a lot of the episodes on these DVDs before. But I do still laugh during every episode of "Arrested Development."

It makes me wonder: Are other people doing the same thing? Will they ever give up on reality TV like I have? When they do give up on reality TV, what will they do? Will everyone start purchasing television shows on DVD? Will the writers' strike ever end?

I'm tired of this writers' strike and all of the reality TV that comes with it. When will I have something new to look forward to on TV again?

It's just after 11 p.m. and I'm trying to decide what to blog about for my first post. What is something in pop-culture that I can blog about? I know, blogging itself!

The Internet has become a huge part of our culture today and as a result we have blogging (also a large cultural innovation). Millions of people worldwide do it. And millions more read blogs. We blog about politics, television, movies, our pets, parties that we go to on Saturday nights, our day-to-day lives, how much we hate our jobs or co-workers (people from the autobiographical writing class last semester may or may not recall a story of mine in which this was a part of the plot) and anything else, really. If you can imagine something, there's probably a blog about it somewhere.

Some people write huge blogs that are read by tons of people. Some people write blogs that are just read by a small group of friends and acquaintences. And others blog just for themselves.

Some writers blog to find jobs. Hell, maybe someday I'll end up doing that. Who knows? Maybe I'll use this blog to do that. I'll comment on society and where I think it's going. Or I'll write about politics. Or maybe I'll find a job by sending out clips, resumes and cover letters. Wow, I hope I don't end up blogging to find a job. That could take forever (there could be even less results than from traditional job-hunting for writers). What if no one ever discovers my blog (it's highly likely that they won't)?

Some people blog for fun. I do that with my other blog. I just ramble on about whatever is on my mind. I blog about things that excite me, things that worry me, deep inner thoughts, and anything else that I find worthy of sharing with my friends.

I actually haven't blogged in a while. I don't know how some people do it every day. I just do it when I feel like it, when I have time, or when I remember that my blog is still there and lonely because it hasn't been touched it in over a month.

I suppose it could be worse. It could be one of those trashy blogs about celebrity gossip or something else awful like that. But no, it's just where my thoughts go when I decide to write them down. It's not that interesting. It's just a place to record random thoughts, crazy memories and deep or weird questions for my readers. It's nice to have a place for that.

It's also great to have a place where people read my writing and I don't have to be all "academic" about it. I can use the first and second persons. I can use contractions. It's looser than writing for most of my classes or news articles for The Torch.

I think blogging is here to stay. People ranging from angry 11 year-olds to celebrities, to professional journalists do it. And anyone can start a blog. It's crazy how large a part of our culture did not exist just a few years ago.